fire and control

I had a mild headache all day and nearly everyone I spoke to asked what happened at some point.  More than one person at work thought it was a bad makeup job until they got up close to me.  It hurt like a fucking truck at the time and is still currently sore even though it doesn’t look as bad as it did earlier.

 It kinda looks good with my other scar in the 2nd picture.

Dad was in the attic getting down some more boxes of Christmas decorations when he decided that Mackenzie just HAD to get up in the attic with him.  So of course I passed her up to him and said “Just don’t let go of her or she’ll get scared and she might fall.”

Knowing Dad, of course he lets her walk around the attic.  Then Mom and I start screaming to bring her down and grab her and “OMG she’s gonna fall”, etc.   I guess all the screaming freaked Mackenzie out too, because when Dad grabbed her to hand her back to me she decided to take a flying leap through the air into my arms from 12 feet up.  Instead of catching her with just my arms, it seems I caught her with my face.

So now, just in time for Thanksgiving, I’ve got a red, swollen, laceration from across my right eyelid all the way to my hairline.  I’ll take a picture of it to show you later.  For now I have to go to work and explain this all over again to everyone who asks.

Always an adventure in my house.

I went to a wedding Saturday night.  Apparently I was not given the memo that when going to a wedding you must arrive with a date.  If not a date, than you must arrive with other people.  If you cannot possibly arrive with a date, or other people, the only other alternative is to have your parents and your brother drop you off… but only if you’re me.

I don’t know if its a Valley thing, or a Mexican people thing, or whatever, but I really love the tradition of bringing a bottle of Rum/other related alcohol to weddings.  It just makes everything more fun.  It also made getting over the fact that I arrived alone, and was a third wheel the whole night, that much more bearable.

I could go on and on about how weddings make me feel about my life and my apparent failure at finding a suitable mate, but instead I will just leave it at that.  The wedding was fun, the company was nice for the most part and I have nothing but well wishes for my lovely friends (the bride and groom) in their new life together.

Oddly enough, shortly after I got home, I got a phone call.  From none other than the one person whom I’ve always imagined myself marrying.  [Speaking of which, when the bride threw the bouquet I caught the ribbon and would have had it, if my friend next to me hadn't caught a piece of the actual flowers and pulled the ribbon away from me.]

Anyway, we both estimated that we had not spoken (on the phone, or in person, obviously) in about a year.  He left the Valley for the last time in July 2006 shortly after I graduated and moved back home.  Since then his schoolwork has consumed him, as the first year of photography school is always the hardest (according to him).

I asked when he would like for me to come visit and he replied “after I graduate”…  In other words, because of the tremendous amount of work he must do for school, he wouldn’t want me to visit him while he was still in school because he doesn’t think he could adequately “entertain” me if I were there.  Like I’m in constant need of entertainment.  The whole point of me visiting would be to see what he does as far as his schoolwork and to see how he currently lives his life.  I wouldn’t ask to be constantly entertained.  I would just enjoy being around him again.

He says whenever we talk there is something he says that always upsets me and we end up fighting/arguing about it.  I thought about it and I realized what upsets me the most about him is that he is entirely… unwavering.  I think that was the word I was looking for.  What I’m trying to describe is that with him, no matter what I say, nothing seems to bother him.  Whether I’m talking about him as a person, or our relationship, or anything.  He just doesn’t ever seem to be bothered or moved by anything.

He talks like he is the only person who has ever had a hard time in life or at school.  The dropout rate is very high at his school and since he’s made it this far, he is over the worst of it.  But still, even with that, he is having such a hard time.

He is a photography student studying portraiture.  So of course I asked him to send me some of his photos.  He did, and I told him that honestly, I didn’t like most of them.  Something about the models, or the lighting, or the makeup, or something in almost all of them, seemed to be off.  I told him this honestly, and even then he didn’t seem to be bothered.  He said that the majority of other people he spoke to liked them so that my opinion was “unique”.  Fine.

Throughout the years of our friendship I have found that it is easier to remain on the surface with him.  The instant we delve deeper into either my or his emotions and feelings, the sooner we are going to come into trouble.  Maybe that’s why I still like him so much.  Because I know I can’t phase him.  I know I’ve never been able to change a thing about him and maybe that’s why it still feels like so much of a challenge.